9.10.2010

I can do hard things.

I think writing here as much as I wanted to begin with is harder than I thought it would be. Oh well, I will just try to do as much as I can.
Anyway, this week has been a good but challenging one for me. I have definitely jumped a few hurdles, which feels great, but having the courage to jump over them was hard to muster up. For one, I began jogging again. I have been consistent the past three days; jogging to the park with Jocelyn in the stroller, letting her play on the playground and then feed the ducks, then home again. I am sore, but not as sore as I thought I'd be. I am happy I have been consistent cause the more I do it the easier it is for me to just do it, and really WANT to do it! I hope that I remember how good it feels. Endorphins are really a great natural anti-depressant. (Not that I have been depressed, but it sure does make me ease up on life!!)
The other challenging thing has been that I feel that I don't have the confidence I wish I had in certain things. I was called to be in the Primary presidency in my ward, which is great, but I'm just a big sissy!! I am the queen of fearing I'll fail! Whether it be as a mother, wife, friend, church leader, whatever! It really holds me back at times and I have seen many times where I have missed some great opportunities. Ughh. That is by far one of my greatest weaknesses in life.
Anyway, Abe was sweet the other day and surprised me with flowers. I see them every morning on our card table/dining table and they make me smile. Do they make you smile?
 I am not going to lie. It has been rough at times to stay positive and find time to spend one on one time with Abraham since we have been here. I am waiting patiently until we get a good opportunity to go on a date. I think Jocelyn is getting tired of always playing and being with "mommy". I don't blame her. I get tired of myself too sometimes. She always yells "daddy" when she wakes from her nap or finishes her bedtime bath. I do find that we have tender moments together and I really love how precious my time with her is now. I know I will miss having so much time with her later in her life, but she will always be my baby girl. 
I need to make dinner now; I hope these foil dinners turn out better than last time.  
 

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